“The obsession is a real life story of my die hard ‘six feet under’ interest over a girl, Azinah. She lives in my mind dictionary known as ‘beautiful, lovely and enchanting’. If I am the Beast, she is considered the Beauty, only with the ending of me not getting her at all.
A considerable perfection I believe beautifully painted as a wonderful art by the universe, Azinah ranks number 1 in every possible lists in my life. This includes her at the top position for years without existing as my girlfriend, meaning she is considered a victor over those who were mine.
Azinah is often picturised in forms of memories; being appreciated for every single thing she does, doing and did. For instance, the above image shows the modelling look of her at the Penang Butterfly Farm, Malaysia on 8th September 2014. I was not there to see the fun she was into, but I feel the excitement when she did all there as if I was by her side.
I am not sure if being obsessed with her can end up killing me for real as Azinah basically lives in every corner of my life (imagination, to be exact) when she has never been around. I rarely meet up with her but when I do, she will always be with her girlfriends for some planned outings and it is kind of hard to actually interact with her in almost anything.
If I see this as a feeling of love for Azinah, I cannot be sure it is so. She has been my IPhone, WhatsApp and WeChat application wallpaper, getting the most likes from me in her Facebook page, using her name for every play in video games, learning her life experiences and understand better about women (which makes her my idol and role model), and many more which can be a novel if I let you know all.
I am obsessed with Azinah because I see her not as a girl, but a divine angel, maybe more to a supreme goddess which I may even try to meditate to her soul for no possible reasons. Therefore, loving her is not wrong but getting her to be my girlfriend is not considered my desire. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna pray to her, just the way I see in her…”